Want to know how my Thanksgiving "holiday" went?

[Blue91]

Just read my two threads from htown... :ashamed:

http://www.htownracing.com/forums/showpost.php?p=330205&postcount=16
http://www.htownracing.com/forums/showpost.php?p=330275&postcount=33

[maveRick]

I'm sorry to read the news, Fred.


PM sent.

[Saleen91]

HOLY SHIZNIT!!!! That's financial rape!

[White90GT]

Sorry to hear that Fred. We went through similar $hit with my sister. She was stealing from my mom and grandparents. My parents kicked her out of the apartment (parents own) and she started dancing and hooking. She finally went to jail for a few weeks and thats when she started trying to clean up. She now lives back with my parents and is off the stuff. Now she's addicted to Dr. Pepper LOL. She is 35 BTW.

[red95gts]

Dude....that is fucked up. How in the fuck could she do that to her own mother?

I left you a voice mail tonight - call me in the morning....

[Timebomb]

Sorry to hear about that Fred. It's sad to hear stories about how this type of thing has ruined people to this point. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

[madforce]

This is really messed up and Fred is in a difficult spot.

You know every bit helps, so let's help out the only way that REALLY helps...send Fred some money to his paypal account. Any bit helps, even if it's just $5. Hell, most of you (not to generalize, but I was single once) easily blow $100-$200 at the titty bar during your lunch hour , so help if you can. COTT was rained out, so the money you saved can now go to a good cause.

blue91@houston.rr.com is his paypal account...it's easy and you can use your credit card.

[Chad82GT]

"You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page."

I'm not an H-town member :( Sounds like something bad went down (hello, Capt. Obvious!)... anyone fill a brotha in?

[Chuck98GT]

Sorry to hear about all your troubles. Is your nephew your sisters kid? Did you call the cops on your sister?

[Blue91]

Thanks guys. I really do appreciate and my mom does as well.

*Disclaimer* This might be the longest post EVER on PMFR. If you read it, thanks for reading my entire story/rant.

*Disclaimer2* This is the most personal post I've ever made. While part of me hates seeing people air their personal issues on forums, my best friends are here so it's easier than telling the story/situation to each person individually.

For Cliff's-notes, scroll to the bottom.

My nephew (12yr old) is my sister's kid but my mom has had full custody of him since he was like 1 year old.

We are meeting with the police tomorrow regarding the stolen property and to press charges. It turns out that they have a lot of stuff as evidence against them and just need people (including us) to claim it and file charges.

After adding up all the past-due amounts to get current, my mom is in the hole $12k total.

History: My sister has been caught up in trouble and with drugs (originally just weed, then X / LSD, then heavier stuff) since she was like 16 (I was 12). She's been in and out of prison (including federal) for most of her adult life. The system continuously let her out on probation, just for her to screw up again and go on a binge and end up back in jail. One of the more "recent" times she got out was back in 2003 when my mom bought her house. She lived there for a while and then of course disappeared on another binge and ended up in prison. Fast-forward a few years and she came back. All the while, my mom continued to let her back, insisting she was a good person, that she'd change, that she'd get better, etc etc etc. Basically she wanted to believe my sis would change. I have wanted nothing to do with my sister since I was like 20 years old since I've known since then that she'd never change. She's stolen things from me for drugs too many times to count.

This past year: My mom wanted to "help my sister's esteem" by showing her that she had some trust in her. So what does she do? She gave her access to her finances so she could manage/pay the bills. I was incredulous when I found out last week. I think it is ABSOLUTELY RETARDED that she did this and I made sure I let her know. My sister has stolen from our family so many times, I can't comprehend what would possess my mother to belay this control to her. I've thought for years that I could help my mom manage her finances better but she's always been too prideful to accept my help. Talk about feeling stabbed in the back. When I found out she gave this trust/control to my crackhead sister instead of me, I couldn't believe it.

My sister has a stupid-bad record and hasn't worked in forever. Her "job" was to clean the house, watch her son after he got home from school, cook dinner, and manage the bills. As said in the earlier thread, my mom worked 60+ hour weeks for this past year on a huge project at her job so whenever she was home, she mainly slept and laid around to rest.

Apparently the temptation with access to money was too much for my sister from the get-go. After doing a lot of checking these past few days, she started scamming money pretty much immediately. She stopped paying the Time Warner bill and AT&T bill. Of course, she never told my mom this. She'd just act like everything was fine. Once it was finally about to be cut off, she tells my mom she switched to Comcast to save money on the phone/tv/net package. Well, she did this (and put it in her name) b/c the accounts in my mom's name were way past due and were being cancelled. My sis did the EXACT same crap with Reliant. She didn't pay them, took the money, and then switched to TXU (under her own name) and told my mom it was b/c it was a better deal. My mom was stupid for never questioning anything and just taking the stories at face value. She never got any mail or phone calls about the past due accounts b/c my sister was home all day. She'd intercept any sort of info. so my mom wouldn't find out.

So, some time goes by and it seems like my mom is constantly shorter and shorter on money, not having as much available to go do things with my nephew, etc. Next thing you know, checks start bouncing and she's in the hole with her bank. My sister gives excuses/stories about how it happened and my mom believes it. So now my mom has no bank account. She has to resort to cashing her check at the shady check-cashing places. Just what a 60 yr old woman needs to be doing, right?

At this time, my mom tells my sis she doesn't think she's doing a good job with the money b/c they are always way too short and don't have anything left over. They were living check to check and were VERY close, waiting on each payday. My sister cries and cries, saying that that's her only job, she needs to feel useful, she'll help get the finances better, etc. So of course, my mom concedes. Again my mom was STUPID and never second-guessed my sister and checked up on things.

So no, with NO BANK ACCT, how do things get paid? Well, my mom gives my sister CASH to go get money orders to pay the bills. CASH to a LIFELONG DRUG ADDICT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I about crapped my pants when I was told all of this this past Thursday. I was LIVID! My mom was so embarassed, felt so stupid, etc. Part of me feels bad for her for being so damned gullible, trusting, and loving, but the LOGICAL side of me thinks she DESERVES to be in this situation b/c she allowed herself to get in to it for repeatedly trusting such a untrustworthy POS in the first place.

Anyways, she finds out my sister has been pawning things from the house. My sis claims it's to pay the bills. My mom is pissed and stops letting her pay the bills. So, since my sister's "funding" is gone, she starts taking and pawning more stuff. Only a very minute amount was mentioned in my previous post. She took at least $1000 worth of stuff just from ME. All of the stuff was in the garage where my mom never goes so she never knew. She would also take stuff from my mom but again it was stuff that was put away in the closets, etc so my mom never noticed. When my mom found out, she was upset b/c she felt responsible that my stuff was stolen from HER house. It should have been safe there. So now, on top of all of her other burdens and stresses, she tries to prevent the stuff from being lost by paying the interest on it at the pawn shops! During this, she still believed my sister was using the money for bills and never kicked her out!

The shit she did to her own son though takes the cake. She stole/pawned his PS2 and Nin. GameCube back in like August. He didn't play them much at the time since he'd started getting into games online. He didn't notice they were gone for a while. He asked about them and she gave him some story (I didn't get what the story was from him). A couple of weeks ago, she calls my mom at work and says there's a wasp in my nephews room so she sprayed it and closed the door. The next day she calls again and says they put a bomb in his room to fumigate it since the wasp wasn't dead. They'd need to all stay out of his room for a week or two. Well, none of this was true. She just played on my nephews fear of wasps to steal his 36" tv and pawn it. As I understand it, my sister had been gone a few days by the time my mom finally went in and found out. When she realized it, she immediately knew what had happened (back on a binge).

She finally told me about it and I blew up! I couldn't BELIEVE she was so gullible, trusting, etc etc etc.

So I spent the day after Thanksgiving trying to get back everything that was still at the pawn shop. I spent money doing it but that's b/c I thought it'd sit as evidence forever if I had the cops come get it. I wanted mostly to get my nephew's things since he shouldn't have to suffer for his mom's addiction. I got some stuff back including my damn YZ80, which had been ragged out like a mofo since I left it there!!!! No brakes and no clutch!!!! :rant:. I was only able to get back his gamecube. The ps2 was gone, and his TV had been put on hold pending "police pickup".

This was because apparently her and her little cohort (my mom's neighbor's nephew who lived with them) had stolen shit from the neighbor as well. He had called the police and they had seized the stuff. They supposedly got a ton of stuff they had pawned at like 8 diff pawn shops and are holding it as evidence.

I told my mom to immediately get a list of her bills, what she pays, what might be past due, etc and to get it to me. She called me on Sunday and was hysterical...

See next post, I exceeded the limit on this one!!!

*edited for language, let me know if I missed anything*

[Blue91]

Her HOUSE payment hasn't been paid for the previous 7 months! It is set to go up for sale on Dec. 4th. As has been noted, we have to pay a huge sum of money by Dec. 3rd in order not to lose it. I've now found out we owe $6871.29. Nice, eh?
Her car payment was 3 months behind. $1600 was owed on that. I took care of it already b/c I didn't want it repo'd. Her garage door doesn't work so she can't park it in the garage. If it did, I would have waited until we figured out if we could save the house or not. I could have used that money, that's for sure.
Her car insurance was cancelled. She owes $210. It hasn't been paid in 3 months. I sure am glad she never got in an accident or needed it during that time!
Reliant was never paid (as mentioned before). $1600 is owed on it.
Current elec co. TXU is past due $330. She owes that (plus this past month's dues of $215) on Dec. 12.
AT&T which my sister stopped paying is owed $200
Time Warner which my sister stopped paying is owed $300.
The current Comcast acct that is under my sister's name is owed $420 to be current (past due of 280 plus current dues). My mom returned the cable box yesterday. It's my sister's account that will be ruined. My mom and nephew will be without cable tv, net, and phone until we can pay back AT&T and get a land line again.
Her cell was $110 overdue (my sister ran up the minutes, 1100 min on a 450 min plan). I paid that since she needs some sort of phone at the house and it was the cheapest option (vs paying AT&T or Comcast).
Water is $80 past due.
Bank is owed $700. She can't get a bank acct until that is paid off.


The past due subtotal (i.e., the amount of money my sister has STOLEN) which has left my mom in ruins (financially, personally, emotionally) is:
$12,600.

I've emptied my savings, taken a 401k loan (very small amount vested since I haven't been with my co. long) and withdrew my 401k from my old job (again, not much since I didn't make much back when I worked there). All of this, plus about $1000 from my CC HOPEFULLY will allow us to save the house. I should know by tomorrow. My mom will likely be without home phone for a while (she doesn't like my nephew home alone after school with no phone). She owes $550 for the elec. by Dec 12th or it gets cut off. Even if it does, if she has the house, it's a-ok. They can stay with me until she gets the money to pay it. Also, she won't have car insurance until we can get paid and get the premiums paid.

I want to thank the guys who have helped out. You guys didn't have to and I was pretty much joking when I solicited for help in my previous post. I never figured anyone would help b/c hey, it's her own fault. I will never forget the help you guys have given (even at small amounts, it's helped). If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Cliff's-notes: Don't trust a crack-addict at ALL (even if it's family!) They will steal from you BEFORE stealing from others b/c it's easier and less risky. Breaking into someone else's house can get a mofo SHOT! Stealing from family is easier to hide and make stories up about. Also, ALWAYS PAY YOUR OWN BILLS or if you don't, DOUBLE CHECK WHOMEVER IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

[maveRick]

Hey Bro. You are amongst friends here who are glad that you feel the same to the point where you would "air your dirty laundry".

Truth is, we ALL probably have someone in our family tree both like your Mom (codependent (http://www.way2hope.org/codependency-test-definition.htm)), and your sister. My Mom is codependent with a niece of mine that could be your sister's sister (from the info in your post).

'Sorry that there's nothing I can say to make you feel better except it sounds like you're doing the right thing and you'll be rewarded for it someday.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Chad82GT]

Fred,

Thankyou for bestowing your trust on us and sharing this incredibly personal story. Not sure what I can do to help 5,000 miles away, but if you can think of anything please don't hesitate to ask! You should also have an email by now :)

[Blue91]

Fred,

Thankyou for bestowing your trust on us and sharing this incredibly personal story. Not sure what I can do to help 5,000 miles away, but if you can think of anything please don't hesitate to ask! You should also have an email by now :)

Hook me up with a flight to the island for a few weeks of vacation after this crap! LOL!

Thanks,

[Chad82GT]

Hook me up with a flight to the island for a few weeks of vacation after this crap! LOL!

Thanks,

If you can get a flight here, you can crash at my place. We've got a Queen sized bed in the 3rd room with your name on it. I might even letcha sit in the '89 and make parachute noises :razz:

[Saleen91]

Fred,

If I had enough frequent flier points I'd get you that flight. I just checked and I'm 50k miles short of getting you a round trip ticket.

[red95gts]

Jesus.... What a fucking mess. Like we talked about yesterday, it's just mind-blowing how deceptive one person can be to the ONLY person on earth willing to give her a second (and third, and fourth....) chance.

I just got home a few mins ago. I'll call you in the morning to see when you can meet up. I think I'm gonna end up over at the office on JFK tomorrow anyway, so maybe that will work.....

Sorry this shit is happening and if you need ANYTHING - don't be shy, dude.

Darrell

[89 coupe]

Fred I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I really am at a loss of words.

[Blue91]

Went to Constable's office today. Went through a huge list of items, most of which were mine, my mom's, and my nephew's. Some of the stuff (small amount) was the neighbors. Most of our stuff has already been pulled for inventory and is sold/gone from the pawn shops. The officer was going to go by the shops and see about recovering what is and might still be there. It looks like my mom's most sentimental personal item (a ring) will be recovered, as well as my nephew's TV, and possibly my shop fan. I think everything else is gone including my drums and pressure washer. A case has been opened against her with us as the complaintants.

More info has been discovered. She stole and wrote checks for $60 at Brookshire Brothers (grocery store) 3 diff times and now those collections are on my mom's credit report. She also took a loan of like $400 from some speedy cash loan type place in my mom's name. My mom will be contacting authorities about this as well. Identity theft anyone?

While some of that might be removed from her credit report since it was ID theft, the rest of it has ruined her credit. She's stuck in the house for a long time now b/c she won't get financed with a decent rate for the next 10+ years.

[rxracer]

that really sucks, Fred. i hope your family will have a good christmas, even with all the crap they went through.

BTW, where is your sister now?

[Blue91]

While there won't be any presents and anything, I think my mom will have a good xmas knowing that she's in better hands now.

As far as "the crackhead formerly known as my sister", who knows, who cares... out on the street somewhere.

[NiCk]

Are you going to make it in time to keep the house? Keep us posted and let us know if you need anything else!