AGirlWithACoupe
05-08-2002, 05:38 PM
"You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable or get
married and wish you were dead." W.W.Renwick
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You
order what you want. Then you see what someone else has, and you wish you
had ordered that.
At a cocktail party one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am. I
married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". The next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
The young woman, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've
found a man just like Dad!" Her other replied, "So what do you want from
me, sympathy?"
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
--Jackie Mason
Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he is finished.
Young Man: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her?" His dad replied, "That happens in every
country, son."
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "What
was he before you married him?" asked her friend. The woman replied, "A
billionaire."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is over when you start going out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does your wife.
Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as
both husband and father, I have say over everything around the house. Of
course, no one pays any attention.
According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men
fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
My wife told me I should be more affectionate; so, I got a girlfriend.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done for free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
Words to live by: Don't argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're a lucky man! Mine is still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're beautiful.
married and wish you were dead." W.W.Renwick
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You
order what you want. Then you see what someone else has, and you wish you
had ordered that.
At a cocktail party one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am. I
married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". The next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
The young woman, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've
found a man just like Dad!" Her other replied, "So what do you want from
me, sympathy?"
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
--Jackie Mason
Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he is finished.
Young Man: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her?" His dad replied, "That happens in every
country, son."
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "What
was he before you married him?" asked her friend. The woman replied, "A
billionaire."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is over when you start going out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does your wife.
Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as
both husband and father, I have say over everything around the house. Of
course, no one pays any attention.
According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men
fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
My wife told me I should be more affectionate; so, I got a girlfriend.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done for free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
Words to live by: Don't argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're a lucky man! Mine is still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're beautiful.