browzin
03-08-2005, 01:26 PM
From http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/archive/Nov18-22.htm
TEN THINGS JAMES BOND NEVER SAYS
1. "HA HA HA HA! You know, I could have sworn you said your name was Pussy Galore! BWA HA HA HA!!!"
2. "I figured some other agent could take care of it."
3. "Have I ever taken time out to tell you how much I appreciate your hard work, Q?"
4. "Thanks, I'll have a pina colada. With dark rum."
5. "Thank you, sir, I promise to follow your orders utterly to the letter."
6. "Well, the place was kind of heavily guarded, so I gave up and came home. I mean, they had big dogs. Really fucking BIG dogs."
7. "Sorry, I don't believe in it before marriage."
8. "I'm sorry, I can't bear all this mindless killing. My conscience is tearing me apart. I'm afraid I will have to tender my resignation."
9. "Yes, I had a very uneventful holiday, thanks."
10. "Well, I'm back from the mission, and I have to say I couldn't find a single use for this stupid gadget you gave me, Q. What the hell were you thinking, anyway? A cigarette case that shoots air-to-air missiles? When did you think that would come in useful while escorting the Bolivian Propaganda Minister across a car park?
TEN THINGS JAMES BOND VILLAINS NEVER SAY
1. "I suppose your right. I never will get away with this. Clarence, forget the laser, we're going to church."
2. "You think he's James Bond? Clarence, he just said he's a banker from Newcastle, I see no reason not to trust him! Honestly, you'd probably think I was James Bond if I didn't have this cool scar."
3. "Fetch me a new white cat. This one just pissed itself."
4. "You forgot the sharks. Oh, perfect. Why don't we just chuck him in an empty pool and hope he forgets how to swim in the panic."
5. "No, of course I forgive you for letting him go. Hell, if I had to shoot everyone James Bond outwitted no-one in this operation would get any work done. Run along, now."
6. "Set the bomb to go off when the timer reaches 153. That should surprise the old git."
7. "I've had this great idea. Why don't we just go into a bank, stick a gun in the cashier's face, and demand all the money? I can't believe I didn't think of this before! It'd be a lot easier than all that business with extortioning world governments!"
8. "Boys, when you find James Bond, just shoot him in the face. Last time when we captured him and gave him a meal and a woman to shag he blew the whole base up, and I figured I should learn from my past mistakes."
9. "So you're seven foot tall, have a mechanical body part, and possess the strength of fifty men? No, I'm afraid I don't think we have a place for you in our organisation."
10. "You're right, these orange jumpsuits look fucking stupid. Let everyone wear plain clothes from now on."
TEN THINGS JAMES BOND NEVER SAYS
1. "HA HA HA HA! You know, I could have sworn you said your name was Pussy Galore! BWA HA HA HA!!!"
2. "I figured some other agent could take care of it."
3. "Have I ever taken time out to tell you how much I appreciate your hard work, Q?"
4. "Thanks, I'll have a pina colada. With dark rum."
5. "Thank you, sir, I promise to follow your orders utterly to the letter."
6. "Well, the place was kind of heavily guarded, so I gave up and came home. I mean, they had big dogs. Really fucking BIG dogs."
7. "Sorry, I don't believe in it before marriage."
8. "I'm sorry, I can't bear all this mindless killing. My conscience is tearing me apart. I'm afraid I will have to tender my resignation."
9. "Yes, I had a very uneventful holiday, thanks."
10. "Well, I'm back from the mission, and I have to say I couldn't find a single use for this stupid gadget you gave me, Q. What the hell were you thinking, anyway? A cigarette case that shoots air-to-air missiles? When did you think that would come in useful while escorting the Bolivian Propaganda Minister across a car park?
TEN THINGS JAMES BOND VILLAINS NEVER SAY
1. "I suppose your right. I never will get away with this. Clarence, forget the laser, we're going to church."
2. "You think he's James Bond? Clarence, he just said he's a banker from Newcastle, I see no reason not to trust him! Honestly, you'd probably think I was James Bond if I didn't have this cool scar."
3. "Fetch me a new white cat. This one just pissed itself."
4. "You forgot the sharks. Oh, perfect. Why don't we just chuck him in an empty pool and hope he forgets how to swim in the panic."
5. "No, of course I forgive you for letting him go. Hell, if I had to shoot everyone James Bond outwitted no-one in this operation would get any work done. Run along, now."
6. "Set the bomb to go off when the timer reaches 153. That should surprise the old git."
7. "I've had this great idea. Why don't we just go into a bank, stick a gun in the cashier's face, and demand all the money? I can't believe I didn't think of this before! It'd be a lot easier than all that business with extortioning world governments!"
8. "Boys, when you find James Bond, just shoot him in the face. Last time when we captured him and gave him a meal and a woman to shag he blew the whole base up, and I figured I should learn from my past mistakes."
9. "So you're seven foot tall, have a mechanical body part, and possess the strength of fifty men? No, I'm afraid I don't think we have a place for you in our organisation."
10. "You're right, these orange jumpsuits look fucking stupid. Let everyone wear plain clothes from now on."