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Bubstang
06-28-2002, 08:01 AM
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree
that will support a 10 pound possum 8 inches from the trunk.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest
when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane,
69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity
of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are
necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700
rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested
is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average
tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys
will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of
R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone
layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and
the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough
sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs
will be killed?

7. A man owns an Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a
hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children.
Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's
land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900
yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The
brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary
roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle
that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous
Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning
is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of
unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town that has been
bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

maveRick
06-28-2002, 09:48 AM
Now THAT is some funny shit! LMAO

Traceman
06-28-2002, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by Bubstang
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree
that will support a 10 pound possum 8 inches from the trunk.

a: Considering a Persimmon (Genus: Diospyros) tree's nature as a fruit tree I would say 1.9745" but this will be affected by how much fruit product and leaves are on the tree and the length of the limb.

I have been able to shoot large coons out of these trees by using a 12 guage with 8 shot shells from about 15 foot away to blast the limb in half so the critter will fall right into the pack of dogs.


2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest
when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane,
69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

a: Goat

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity
of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are
necessary to condense the product?

a:3

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700
rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested
is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average
tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys
will it take to cut the trees?

a:1081

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of
R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone
layer?

a:none. That ozone crap was a crock of shit to make you spend money retrofitting and by sub par level performance juice.

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and
the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough
sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs
will be killed?

a: none, they always lay on the steps in your way to get up on the porch.

7. A man owns an Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a
hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children.
Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's
land?

a: yes, but there will be no need for a septic tank for each since that will be sufficient slope for runoff to the natural stream down hill.

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900
yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The
brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary
roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle
that has a muffler?

a: 0

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous
Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning
is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of
unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

a: 1 light and they are all dead

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town that has been
bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

a: 9 months