Men's rules

[Shaggy]

Men's Rules for Women
Rule #1 -- Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule #2 -- If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule #3 -- If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule #4 -- It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule #5 -- Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule #6 -- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

Rule #7 -- You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both.

Rule #8 -- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule #9 -- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule #10 -- Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Rule #11 -- When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Rule #12 -- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

[AGirlWithACoupe]

Can't we just ignore you guys? I mean, it works for me. :)

[maveRick]

Cris,

You're SSSsssoooooooooooo cute!!!.........


but I already have a puppy.



R (arh..arh..arh....

[That Robin Girl]

Women's Rules for Men

20. While we all should be in the spirit of recycling, shouldn't you give up wearing the "ripped to shreads" underwear, even if all the holes are worn just so?

19. We already know what you are thinking. Sometimes we just need clarification.
18. Don't complain about OUR vast array of shoes, and we won't pick on you about YOUR vast collection of "sneakers for every occasion".

17. Things you can help with scrubbing the bathroom, fixing things that don't need to be fixed, holding the instruction manuals while we put the new things together, and lighting a fire.

16. Shopping IS a spectator sport, and you are the lucky spectator. Accept this harsh reality, as will we when the roles reverse, say, at the local sporting goods store.

15. While the lingerie with strategic openings appeals to you, most of the time we pray the store will exchange it for something more comfortable when you're not looking.

14. How is it that men seem to lose their way to the laundry room after marriage? We know you did it before you married us, we've seen the pink underwear.

13. Sports Center comes on roughly every six hours. Plus they have continuous updates during every hour. If you miss something due to us talking to you, chances are you'll hear all about it in another 15 or so minutes, so relax.

12. We appreciate your input on most issues, but our Soap Operas aren't one of them. We already know she's the evil one, and he's screwing around. A recap complete with intervals of "I can't believe you're making me watch this" are unnecessary.

11. We know you watch Baywatch for the fine acting skills of the actors and actresses.

10. Even though you think Pamela Anderson is a babe, don't expect us to agree.

9. Women have a better sense of direction than men. Accept it.

8. When lost, getting out and asking for directions is okay. Driving around aimlessly and swearing is not.

7. Cut us some slack when we ask you questions about how sports are played and the rules. Help us understand these games better. Consider it your civic duty.

6. Beer burps are not considered a second language, even if you CAN burp the alphabet.

5. Towels dry faster when they are hung up on the towel rod, not crumpled on the floor.

4. Take time to smell the flowers. Then bring some home to remind us how much you care.

3. Psst... We're only lending you the remote... If you have kids, you know who really owns that T.V.

2. We really are the sex crazed maniacs you fell in love with. Just reset your clock to our female standard time, and you'll see what I mean.

1. Finally, don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. This is one of the many reasons we married you.

# 1 should be "Don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. We already freaking know!"

Robin :)

[AGirlWithACoupe]

14. How is it that men seem to lose their way to the laundry room after marriage? We know you did it before you married us, we've seen the pink underwear.

I like the "I can do my own laundry, I've done it since I was 12!" ... Ok, so you stop doing their laundry ... the next week "Babe, I don't have any clean shorts :("

Yeah, and they say we're hard to figure out. :)

[HoustonLX]

Whats wrong with pink underwear??? /me thinks back to a load of whites he had to recently through out after missing a red shop wrag which got mixed up in the load.:D

[maveRick]

LOL Shane,

I've been given strict orders to "MOVE AWAY FROM THE LAUNDRY ROOM - MOVE AWAY FROM THE LAUNDRY ROOM" by you-know-who.

Actually, I used the "reverse-bio-psycology" thing on her when I washed something white of her's with something red of mine.

Tee hee! Tee hee!

The weaker sex are so dumb! (but none on this board, of course!)



/me scratches ball sack then picks nose (forgets to use other hand)