illfated
06-06-2002, 11:34 AM
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over
everything while you're gone.
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this, anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy
carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet, you jerk.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know
the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize
how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised
when I freak out every time we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What
a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over
everything while you're gone.
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this, anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy
carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet, you jerk.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know
the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize
how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised
when I freak out every time we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What
a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.